Y'all Come Back Now...

The South is a world all its own. Some aspects of life here challenge me, remind me of why I moved away as soon as I graduated from high school. I hit the ground running, vowing never to return. But you know what they say about saying "never"--and I'm back. Happily. Because I am a native and I am related to more than half of west Tennessee, I am allowed to poke well-intentioned fun at how we talk. I could write a similar post about New England or Iowa, but that would be treading on their sacred ground. It just ain't allowed. Since I now work in a smaller city with people who live in truly rural areas (like "the county" and not any incorporated town), I've had the opportunity to hear some fun phrases that even I, born and bred here in west TN, wasn't previously familiar with. So some--but not all--of these are new to me, but all of them make me smile.

1) Daddy. Southern women refer to their fathers as "daddy" even when they are fully grown women. Not only to his face ("Daddy, will you help me open this jar?"), but also in a conversation when he is not even present. Ex: "My daddy woulda tanned my hide if I'da done that."

2) Swoll up like a tick. I didn't type that wrong, the word is "swoll." It is the present tense and the past tense, all rolled into one. Ex: "As you can see, she's swoll up like a tick." Or "It was so infected, she was swoll up like a tick." If you don't live where ticks live, you may need to know that ticks are insects that live in wooded areas. When they attach to a person's skin, they bite down (painlessly) and suck blood, causing them to puff up to a million times their normal size (exaggeration for effect).

3) Aw, lawsy. This is an expression of disbelief. It is the kindly Christian way of saying "Oh my Lord!" The "law" part is dragged out--laaaaw-zee. Sometimes it is shortened to "law." Ex: "Aw, lawsy, that's a big tick on your neck!" Or "Law! She lost a lotta weight!"

4) Hug your neck. It's not enough just to hug. A good Southerner wants to hug your neck. Not your shoulders or your cheek (this would be called the "kiss-hello program" and is generally not done in the South. If you kiss on the cheek--or worse, both cheeks--as a greeting, this is a dead giveaway that you ain't from these parts.).

5) Bless your heart. If you sugarcoat your criticism of another, it seems less painful. "She just didn't quite get those roots done right, bless her heart." Or "Bless your heart, you just can't seem to find jeans that can hide that rear end, can ya?"

6) Don't blow sunshine up my skirt. Tell me the truth. Don't add "bless your heart" to whatever you're saying--just say it.

7) When God was a boy. It's been done that way forever, and change is bad. Ex: "Well, we been planting seeds in that field since God was a boy."

8) Worn slap out. Very tired.

9) I'm sweatin' like a whore in church. Enough said.

10) This is an exact quote, but there are similar declarations made: "I'm just a hog farmer's daughter, and I know how to make a good cornbread." Substitute rural job associated with hard-working, humble people and recipe/food as needed. It's an attempt to explain that you are pleasantly simple and the world is just too complicated. This type of statement is generally accompanied by shrugging your shoulders and sighing.

If you're from the South, you probably have a million more! This endearing, folksy talk keeps me smilin' when some of those challenges (which may be fodder for a later post) make me think I need to get outta here again. Aw, lawsy, it's gettin' late--I gotta call Daddy and tell him to read my blog...