Bigger than the Beatles

There's a 14-year-old phenom called Hannah Montana (real name: Mylie Cyrus) who has captured the hearts and pop-star-obsessed minds of girls everywhere. She has a show on the Disney Channel and several CDs. She's pretty wholesome, being a Disney creation and all. Her angle is that she is a "regular kid" who goes to public high school as Mylie and has a secret identity as a rock star called Hannah. Her father (played by her real-life father Billy Ray Cyrus of "Achy Breaky Heart" fame), her brother and two friends know the truth, but she relishes in being able to live a normal life in addition to her famous one. She sings sugary-sweet songs, pop at its finest, the kind that grown-ups can't seem to get out of their heads.

Hannah Montana is on tour as we speak. And she is coming to Memphis on November 29, to the FedEx Forum no less. A huge venue, where our NBA team plays. And this little 14-year-old kid SOLD OUT the concert in no less than 8 minutes. All the local radio stations and TV stations are featuring outraged parents, who assume (probably correctly) that the tickets intentionally went to professional scalpers who are already advertising Hannah tickets for $800 or more. The insidious part is that the same outraged parents will probably fork over that kind of dough to ensure that little Muffy gets to see Hannah not-so-up-close-and-personal. If there weren't some stupid parents, the scalpers couldn't make any money.

Fortunately, I did not tell Molly and Rebecca that Hannah Montana was coming, so they are none the wiser. I am certain this blissful ignorance is short-lived. Some kid at one of their schools will, in fact, have a parent willing to sell their next-born child for tickets to the concert and the kid will brag about it at school. These things start as early as preschool, I have learned, so I cannot hide this sad information forever. There is a rumor that, since promoters have not officially declared HM a sell-out, they may open the arena further, making available some partially-obstructed view seats and the like. We'll see...

You think they'll be just as happy to see "Madeline's Christmas" at a community theater in December?