The See-Saw

Usually, I blog about the kids. Today I am blogging about me. If you're looking for cute pictures and stories to make you chuckle, scroll down. I'm feelin' introspective, so indulge me.

At my sister's college commencement from our shared alma mater, the speaker told the all-woman graduating class that they could not "have it all." You cannot, she suggested, be successful in a career and a successful wife/mother. It's just impossible. Needless to say, from this audience of truly driven, overachieving, super-smart women, the speaker was not well-received. There was uncomfortable silence, some audible booing, and a lot of outraged whispering. The applause was muted at best. How dare she!? I was among those rolling the eyes: whatever, lady. Maybe you are a failure, but I won't be!

She was right.

She was not right in saying that you cannot have both a career and a family. But she is right in suggesting that if you strive for both, each will suffer a little. Sometimes a lot. I don't mean that the kids will actually suffer. Or that you can't break through a glass ceiling. But you have to find a livable balance, and that means both sides have to compromise.

There are many days when events occur at my daughters' schools that I cannot attend. There are playgroups and storytimes and mommy-and-me music classes that don't fit into our schedule. Rebecca has missed gymnastics a couple of times because I didn't get home in time to take her. Amelia sometimes hangs out for more hours than I'd like to admit at daycare, well cared-for, but still being raised--to some degree--by sweet but young women who are, simply, not me. Molly isn't taking dance class this year because there were just too many after-school activities that I couldn't juggle them when Peter travels for work. We have a hard time making it to Wednesday night activities at church--I just get home too late. Some days I am simply not a good mother.

On the flip side, I don't do much socializing with co-workers after hours because it means missing at-home time. I pass on the Pampered Chef parties and potluck dinners. I don't make my hour-long commute just for a department meeting--I don't even usually come in early for such meetings, because an extra hour in the morning is vital to my day with the family. When I am in my office, I take occasional lulls in the clinic day to schedule dentist appointments, call the teacher about the fundraiser, plan a birthday party. My lunch hours are spent running errands, picking up prescriptions, picking out a dress for the class picture--not usually eating in the break room with the staff and forging alliances and friendships. This probably means I don't "get ahead" as fast, and I often don't feel like part of the "team" in our office. When I am on call, if my patient has an epidural--and even sometimes when she doesn't :( --I go to sleep at night. Some days I am simply not a good midwife.

I am a half-ass mom and a half-ass midwife full time.

BUT my kids are kind, healthy, happy girls. They are considerate of others (usually), they are smart, they are funny, and they are very, very, very loved. They are eager to learn about the world around them--the big world, not just their neighborhood. They are motivated and independent. They like to snuggle and giggle, and they get to do plenty of both. Most of these traits are not because of me or my parenting--they are just God-given gifts--but I like to think that Peter and I cultivate these gifts in them. (Speaking of Peter, he is 90% of the reason I can do what I do. He is Mr. Mom so often. We are partners to the core, and he is wonderful. I will blog about him sometime, but today, it's all about me.)

Some days I dream of being a stay-at-home mom. I honor those women. I am frequently jealous of them. If my money tree bloomed, I might try it for a little while. I would probably be bad at it, though. Because my sense of balance--right here, right now--depends on both sides giving a little so that I can have it all.

Aunt Meredith & The Girl Scouts

Molly's Girl Scout troop learned about the country of Thailand for World Thinking Day. Since my sister lives there and was in Memphis for a little visit, she provided education and artifacts. Lauren's mom and I made mango sticky rice for all the area GS's (about 300 of them!) to try. The school cafeteria was full of displays and flags to teach the girls about other cultures. Each troop prepared a dish to sample, they had passports stamped at each stop, and they got to spend a Saturday afternoon together. The girls in our troop wore outfits made just for them in a Thai marketplace, commissioned by Aunt Meredith. (As a side note, the poster that Molly and I made features lettering courtesy of my new Cricut machine, which is my favorite toy.)



The last few pictures are of Aunt Mer's last night here. She's now safely back in Thailand, after a whirlwind Memphis/New Orleans/Boston trip, an appearance on live TV news and a sermon at Mom and Dad's church. We miss you already, M!

Our Annual Snow Day

My readers from my past lives in Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa will laugh at this "snow," but for our neck-o-the-woods, this was the big time! My clinic was closed for the morning (no need for pregnant women to be slippin' and slidin' in) and the kids were, of course, off from school. For about 15 minutes, we played in the snow, making snow angels, taking mittens on and off and on and off, throwing a few snow balls. A little winter goes a long way!

Scratch and Sniff

There are no pictures to go with this story--you will appreciate that as you read on.

I have a nose like a bloodhound. This is both a blessing and a curse, mostly a curse. Many women have an acute olfactory gift when they are pregnant. No, I am not pregnant. I have this sense all the time. My parents have employed me to "sniff out what smells bad" in their refrigerator. I can find a baby bottle inadvertently (or not) shoved under a bed. Here's my latest:

Last week, I was putting on my coat in the kitchen, preparing to leave for work. I caught a whiff of...vomit. Casually, I announce, "I think Amelia has puked in her bed." Peter looks quizzically at me. "She's still asleep up there." I nod. "Yep, but I smell puke. And that vent up there goes right to her room." He trots upstairs and comes back down with Amelia, who is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, no vomit to be found on her person. He looks at me, astounded. (I am a little disappointed, not because she didn't puke--that would be a good thing!--but because I think my sense of smell failed.) Peter says, "You are a freak." Huh? "There is a little tiny spot of vomit this big on her blanket. The room doesn't even smell like puke. You are a freak."

Where Did January Go?

It's early February now, and I have been completely addicted to Facebook. I did myself a favor back in December and discontinued our Website, thinking if I only had ONE place to upload photos and spout off about nothing anyone cared about, I'd do it more often. Then Facebook hit me like a ton-o-bricks, leaving my poor blog untouched for a month. And I don't even download pics to Facebook--that would make it 100 times worse.

Anyway, January is traditionally a blah month, right? Christmas is over, kids go back to school, weather is gray and chilly. But we managed to make history with a new President, the Tigers won some basketball games, my kids just kept getting cuter, and we had visits from my sister and Peter's sister (and family). So, it was NOT a blah month in 2009.

Peter's sister and bro-in-law and their wonderful son Travis--who joined our family through the blessing of adoption last summer--came all the way from Oregon for some Quality Cousin Time. We are now trying to find a way to eliminate the states in between Tennessee and Oregon to facilitate more frequent QCT. Who needs Kansas and Idaho anyway?!

Amelia is a Tiger Fan!

Uncle Peter and cousin Hallie (with Tiger face courtesy of Caroline)

Did I mention how cute the kids are?

QCT at the playground

Visiting the Peabody Ducks (their rooftop palace)

Becca at Corky's. Yes, she often dresses like this in public.

All the way from Oregon! At the zoo.

Silly cousins and Aunt Jenny

Northwest Passage at the Zoo

Aunt Meredith teaches Molly's Girl Scout troop about Thailand (more Mer pics to come!)

For the record, February is looking less good. The Oregon relatives decided they needed to go home (some nonsense about jobs and school), Kansas is still impeding QCT, and Meredith flew back to Thailand. My kids are still pretty cute and the president is still new and shiny for now. But otherwise, February is, so far, cold and gray. Ready for Spring...

Happy New Year!

To welcome 2009, we took our second annual trip to a cabin at Pickwick Lake with The Other Marshes (as we affectionately call Pete's brother, his wife and their 3 girls, who live two blocks from us). In general, a rousing success. One slight disappointment was that the inn on the lake had closed their indoor pool--a highlight from last year--for renovations or some such nonsense. However, Dad/Uncle Peter made up for the crushed spirits of the big girls by taking them bowling in Savannah. We played games, took a chilly "hike" (okay, mostly on the paved roads, but we were toting 2 kids under age 2 and half the kids [mine] didn't have sufficient coats!), made 'smores, stoked fires in the pot-bellied stove, did sparklers, had makeovers (six girls--what do you expect!?), watched the ball drop in Times Square, wore party hats, and drank sparkling AJ/champagne. The grown-ups played a midnight game of Pictionary--come-from-behind victory for Laurie and Matt--and dreamed of building our own cabin and buying a boat.





On New Year's Day, our little family visited Shiloh, the Civil War battlefield that is close to Pickwick. Since Rebecca loves all things gross, she was REALLY looking forward to seeing the "Bloody Pond" which turned red from soldiers' and horses' blood during the days of the battle. Although the lack of actual blood in the water 150 years later was a little disappointing for her, she remained fascinated. Note the picture below at the restaurant after lunch, where she is proudly holding the postcard of the Bloody Pond; there are approximately 6 pictures of her posing with that postcard! :) Molly liked the log church and the peach tree orchard. Amelia slept through pretty much the whole thing. Afterwards, we stopped for lunch at Hagy's Catfish Hotel on the Tennessee River, recommended to us by the guy in the Shiloh gift shop.




Happy New Year, Y'all! May 2009 bring blessings to us all!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

It was a perfect holiday, nice and low-key after a busy season. My dad took some great pics of the events, but here are a few from my camera:





We had a great Christmas at home! For Christmas Eve, we went to my cousin's house for the annual McKee family gathering. My sister Meredith arrived from Thailand in the late afternoon. We hadn't seen her for nearly a year! After dinner and gifts there, we headed home, tucked the girls in for the night, and stayed up a while chatting. My parents and Aunt Meredith spent the night, so they could see what Santa might bring. Santa came in the night, enjoyed his cookies and milk, fed Rudolph the apple, and left a lovely spread of toys and stocking stuffers. Later in the morning, the Other Marshes arrived for Christmas Brunch at our house and a little cousin-to-cousin play time.